1970

There's something to be said for the ability to build walls. Even as a kid, I seemed to be pretty good at keeping out the feelings I didn't really like or that I thought might hurt and letting in the ideas and people that made me happy.

Birthdays were good. I got presents and cake so they were allowed in. Granted, I wasn't allowed in the house for most of the day on my actual birthday. My Mother said it was because she had to make my cake and wrap gifts. How exactly was the cake a surprise? I knew I was going to have one. The only surprise here would have been the absence of a cake. I always chose the color and the flavor. And she always taped a note on the kitchen door that said, "Keep Out." Normally, it was held up with a Band-Aid instead of cellophane tape. Hmmm . . .

Apparently, the idea that she might simply say, "Don't come in the kitchen right now" was too obvious. Or maybe taking gifts somewhere private to wrap them hadn't occurred to her either. The only time she ever prepared beforehand was when I had my birthday at my grandmother's house. Those birthdays, my grandmother made all the arrangements. She asked me what flavor cake I'd like. She called the bakery to order it -beforehand-, wrapped gifts she had chosen -weeks or even months beforehand. My Mom just doesn't work this way. Time just moved too quickly for her to keep up. It always has.

If you don't believe me, look at the look on my friends face who is seated next to me. He lived across the street and can be seen in almost all of the photos of the birthday parties of me and my siblings. He just can't wait for the picture-taking to be over with so we can get on with the party - mostly eating the cake and running around with new toys. My Mother has never moved at the same speed as everyone around her. She made us all wait while my Dad got his camera ready and took pictures 'cause you never know when a birthday is going to sneak up on you.